Isolation can lead to feelings of hopelessness about the future, restlessness in daily life, and low frustration tolerance with others. Ask yourself - Where do I find connection?
Finding human connection during times of social-distancing can be an overwhelming feat. However, redefining connection is something we can do to counteract the toll isolation can take on our mental well-being. By connecting more authentically with ourselves, we can better connect with those around us. When you focus on you, you grow. Likewise, when you focus on negativity, negativity grows.
"There is no way to give kindness to another without knowing it in ourselves first." -Cleo Wade
Hopelessness, loneliness, and boredom are signs to look out for that may indicate we are not taking complete care of ourselves. By recognizing these signs we can direct future action towards self-care.
Hopelessness
Hopelessness is a blinding feeling that is characterized by believing your problems will never be solved and that suffering will go on forever. As a result, one may begin to abandon the activities that used to give them feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. This is when isolation begins to enter the picture and the individual succumbs to "do-nothingism". Hopelessness operates in a negative cycle where you feel and act the way you think. Knowing what you control and how you can take healthful action can re-instill hope. Positive actions and feelings reinforce each other and prove that things aren't really hopeless. Remember, hopeless beliefs are not the same as facts.
Make a list of activities to refer to when hopelessness strikes. What fills you up?
Loneliness
Loneliness stems from the perceived gap between one's desire for social connection and their actual experience of it. The keyword here is "perceived", as loneliness can be experienced both in isolation and while surrounded by people. Loneliness can be the result of a lack of authenticity in our relationships. By being more authentic with yourself you can obtain more connection from your relationships. Mindfulness, or non-judgemental awareness, can be used to check-in with our internal narrative, which has the power to drive our loneliness. Inviting this awareness allows us to acknowledge what we are feeling and learn how to accept it, embrace it, and help ourselves. Ultimately, making self-compassionate choices builds the emotional strength and resilience needed to ease feelings of loneliness.
Feelings communicate our needs and loneliness may be asking for connection. Do something that targets this - maybe it is reaching out to a friend or loved one.
Boredom
A pervasive lack of interest in and difficulty concentrating on the current activity characterizes the experience of being bored. Boredom is predictive of loneliness and can be the motivating force behind the things that people do to pass the time. Those who lack self-awareness are more prone to boredom because they are unable to identify their desires and what makes them happy. This feeling is a double-edged sword as on one hand, boredom is an example of escapism as it's the alternative chosen to avoid self-reflection, but on the other hand, boredom can be seen as a valuable cue to investigate your internal landscape. You can view boredom as a call to action to take the present opportunity for thought and reflection. Stop and listen. What is boredom trying to tell you?
Try meditating with the intention of being curious about your thoughts. What do you learn about yourself as an outside observer?
Reconnecting with You
Upon the arrival of unwanted feelings, we can recruit the Mental Health All-Stars to restore balance. By attending to the mind, body and spirit we can better connect with ourselves and our health. Who is your strongest All-Star?
7-Days of Self Care
You are invited to take part in 7 days of Self-Care. Each day features an activity that encourages self-care and reflection.
Day 1
Do something creative. Creativity can be embraced in endless ways. For example, it could be movement-related, such as dancing to your favorite song or doing some yoga. It may also look like cooking a flavorful and healthy meal, painting a picture, or writing a poem. Whatever you do, choose an expression of creativity that feels most authentic to you.
Day 2
Listen to a guided meditation. The power in pause gives us the chance to reflect and re-claim our power through the way we act and react. How do you want to show up for the world?
Day 3
Log your feelings 3x during the day. Refer to the feelings wheel or this article for help with feelings identification. Once we stop running from our emotions we start to see them differently as we recognize our feelings for what they really are. Hear them, see them, and heal them.
Day 4
Write a letter to yourself to read when you are lonely or hopeless. Maybe it includes reassurance that the feeling is temporary and will pass. You are encouraged to go over this letter with your therapist.
Day 5
Try a 5-10 minute silent meditation as a witness who is curious about their thoughts. What do you learn about yourself as an outside observer?
Day 6
Reference or make a list of actions to refer to when hopelessness strikes. Practice 3-5 actions today.
Day 7
Make a list of things to let go of and invite. You can continue this process using the moon cycle for accountability. On the New Moon journal things to invite, and on the Full Moon journal things to let go of.
These 7-days can jumpstart your journey to taking better care of you. You can continue this momentum by continually asking yourself - Does this support the life I am trying to create? Use your strengths to create the change you wish to see in yourself and your life.
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